Kunbi Korostensky N.D - MAKING LIFE CHANGES SIMPLE

Overcoming Limiting Self Talks and Beliefs

Anyone who has ever experienced drastic changes knows exactly how you can get "hijacked" by those ranting voices in your mind and head.

Thoughts such as "can I do this", will I succeed or how do I manage all of this alone at my age?" can no doubt stop us from moving forward and jeopadize all good intentions if we give in to them.

So what is the solution to not only ignoring the sabotaging self limiting talks but truly ridding yourself of them for good?

As an energy psychologist, over the years, I have been introduced to several great tools which help overcome many unwanted crippling self talks. Some of these tools are rooted in traditional psychotherapy methods such as Jungian, Rogerian, Gestalt and Imago to modern holistic energy balancing methodologies such as: The Sedona Method, EMDR (Eye Movement Disensitization), Core Process Therapy etc. One method I have found to be highly effective is the EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique by Gary Craig. It is also called The emotrance Method.

This technique works via the merdian energy system, freeing you of any blockages in your subsconcious mind and opening up your flow of energy. 

Below is a simplified video to help you experiment and experience EFT 

Appying the method is simple and uncomplicated and it can be learned easily by anyone. There are a number of trained therapies who offer the full fledged EFT method. If you want to know more about the technique, simply go to  http://www.emofree.com/AffiliateWiz/aw.aspx?A=681&Task=Click

I also use it with some of my coaching clients with remarkable success.

The Ripples of New Joy As Catalyst For What Is Becoming

We all experience times of exhilarating joy which just seem to burst out of your soul. Well this happened to me today!

I woke up in a pretty much calm manner and as the day went by, I continued to observe the changes in my inner disposition. I felt a surge of deep happiness and inner contentment which I haven't felt for a very long time. I was amazed by this change, especially because yesterday had been quite the opposite.

In fact, the previous day had me struggling with my physical energy and strength that I had to stay home for the entire day. And yes, I listened to my intuition and did what was best for me. I spent the day reading and delving into some special writings which my whole being seemed to just soak up. By the time I was ready for bed, I felt completely numbed and yet more "together"?!

Today, however, things have changed and the bubbly joy within me suddenly overflowed. I decided to use this as an incentive to experiment on a project which I had recently been struggling with. But first, I called a very good friend and informed her about my perception. She listened and then said something remarkable. "Do you think it could be that the struggle you went through yesterday was a way of symbolically overcoming a hump,... kind of making up for something?" I went dead silent, but not because of what she said, but the way she said it.

Because although it appeared to be a question it wasn't! It was more of a clear statement. This statement cut deep into my soul and I felt she was right. it was as if she linked intuitvely with me helping me understand better what had happened.

When I still didn't say anything, she went on to say, that she felt that the joy I was feeling was a kind of compensation because I embraced the struggle from the other day. Meaning that I opened myself for the beginning of a new, happier and more fulfilling path with lesser struggle. Wow! was I amazed by her talk. But what amazed me even more was I knew she was absolutely right!

Strong lesson for me: when things get tough, sit back and enjoy the ride without complaining, for who knows what great blessings are on their way?                                                

Are You a Perfectionist?

There are times when you may feel that no matter what you do, you just can't seem to get things right.

Take me for instance, I've been trying to finish my contents for a new website. Everything started off pretty well and I was really excited about getting the website finished and publishing it on the web. Then wham! I got stuck. It's now been approximately a month and I still can't figure out what went wrong. That means until yesterday.

Now I can see a faint light at the end of the tunnel. This glimmer is nothing else but an insidous characteristic trait ... perfectionism!

This wasn't always the case with me. But ever since I began to pitch my work against those of many other colleagues, I have acquired that steel drive to only give my very best or nothing. You see, I see many things written and offered to people which appear to me as insufficient and a little superficial.

Conversely, the other side of the coin would be working on a project until you drop dead, because you can never seem to be satisfied with your result.

I have to remind myself that I am only human and being exactly that makes it alright to be less than perfect. Since I'm aware that lurking behind every perfectionism is fear, I've been asking myself the question what is it that I fear. And voila: the answer stood tall before my mind's eye. I was moving into a new territory, out of my comfort zone exposing myself. Would I do brilliantly, am I ready for this, what if I performed poorly were some of the questions that flooded my mind yesterday.

Fears and doubts will always assail us, but we mussn't allow them to inhibt our inner movement and changes. So now that I've recognized what is holding me back, I'm back in the saddle ready to win the game.

Now onward to the task ahead of me.   

What is your comment on perfectionism?      

Heck, This is Frustrating!

Since the beginning of this week, I've been struggling with the challenge of compiling a full detailed workshop program for 2006. It should be about 14 to 15 pages. What is gnawing at me is not writing the material for the pages, but getting to figure out the best way to organize the pages in order to get it right for printing afterwards.

Heaven knows, I am not an expert when it comes to structuring paperwork on the computer. Still I need to create some samples to present to our board members by the next board meeting, which is barely in 2 weeks.

The program is a course program from our Foundation. For the fist time since I founded the Foundation in 2003, we've decided to offer a full year program instead of a quarterly program as we've done in the past.

Little did I realize the amount of work and co-ordination entailed in setting up a simple and coherent brochure properly, when I agreed to do it. This even more so, because of consideration for the schedules of all speakers and presenters involved and setting up the program in two languages - German and English!

So I have decided to simply write each text on single pages and let someone else deal with the mumble jumble of coherency. Afterall, this is supposed to be a team work!

Any other suggestions?       

Individual Inner Unfoldment

One aspect of changes involves inner unfoldment. Personally, I have been on this course of life for a very long time and I'm grateful for the times when I was able to draw great strength from this path.

A great number of people who came to me for psychotherapy often were in search of something deeper to help them find inner peace and anchorage. Recently I had a talk with someone who said that his life began to change dramatically after he began examining the true meaning of his life.

I wonder if most of the problems we have accepting changes could do with not wanting to look deeper into ourselves.

There is a great article from Dr. Robert Saltzman on Spiritual Unfoldment. He is a dcoctor whose work is dedicated to mental, emotional, and physical stability and personal growth. The article replies to to the question of what Spiritual Unfoldment is from a psychological standpoint.

His simple explanation about how to perform a self-observation on yourself is one I often recommend to people. I also like the simple analogy he gave about nutrition and spiritual unfoldment.

Indeed, it is truly in simplicity that you reap the greatest benefits. This is something I am constantly reminded of whenever I struggle for any solution.               

Life is simple: Revealing 5 proven Ways to own your Life

Do you own your life or does it own you?

If you're struggling with your life, this could be an indication that you're making your life much too difficult than it needs to be.

You're here to live a life of joy and abundance. To experience a rich inner life of recognition and inspiration which should translate into your outer world.

If this is not the case, you can redirect the course of your life by following these 5 proven ways.

1.      Live fully in the present. Simplify your life by living consciously in the moment. The present has so much to offer you. It is in the present that you can lay the foundation for the rewards of your dreams in the future, not in the past. To do this, bestir yourself sufficiently in the right way by taking one step at a time .

To live fully in the present, you need to experience every minute of your life inwardly and not just outwardly. This means, grasping aright deeply within yourself the experience of the moment before moving on. This safeguards against taking on too much at any time and getting overwhelmed. Which often develops into struggle.

2.      Do what comes naturally to you. Get into the habit of first doing what comes naturally to you and polishing it up. When you do this often enough, in time you'll be able to handle other difficult matters with lesser efforts.

This is because your becoming disciplined and adept in one area of your life, equipes you with the necessary tools to tackle other challenging areas more effectively. The result is greater competence and deeper satisfaction.

3.      Have a heart full of joy and appreciation. A joyful and appreciating heart has no room for fear. Fear is always an indication of a sense of lack. This could be  conscious or subconscious.

I have observed that people whose hearts surge with joy of deep appreciation and gratitude feel only love. Even in the face of grave calamity, as in the case of bereavement, there are always things you could be grateful for. Like taking comfort in knowing that the you are never alone. Something I was vividly reminded of when I suddenly lost my own mother. 

4.      Move with ease into any change as a natural happening. Life is. Meaning, it is in constant motion. To own your life, you need to accept this fact. Trying to evade or to negate changes is the least smart way of becoming masterful at the game of life.

A question for you. Can you stop the sun from shinning after a raging storm or stop the dawn of a new day breaking in at the end of a night? Right. You can see how ludricous my question is. This is to underline the foolishness of wanting to control the cycle of changes in your life at any time. It simply is impossible and only results in more struggles. The wisest thing to do is to stay open for changes and deal with them when they appear. Remember the expression never to go looking for trouble, it will find you? So just be in the NOW!

5.      Trust and follow your intuition to the letter. Residing within you is a wealth of knowledge. The key to unlocking this treasure is your intuitive power. People who have learned to access their intuition before making any decision live in harmony with their environment.

My own life completely changed from second guessing myself when I truly began to listen to my intuition. I now have a sense of profound joy and clarity as I remain congruent with my values. The more you learn to trust and follow your intuition, the more control you'll have over your life.

What you gain are strong emotional balance, mental and psychic alertness to guide you to a life of bliss and prosperity.   

   

As you can see, you don't have to become enslaved to your life. For life is meant to be simple, provided you become aware of what is wrong and change it.

How to Gain Respect and Support for Yourself and Your Business

"He that respects himself is safe from others; he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce" - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

To gain respect from others, you have to respect yourself first. People will give you their undying respect as long as they recognise that you portray these 3 key attributes: trustworthiness, integrity and mindfulness. Because having these qualities demonstrates your level of consciousness and maturity.   

When people respect you, it is easier to get their support. Getting people to give you continuous support, also requires you to apply yourself. Here are ways to help you make an impact on people whom you want respect and support from.    

1.  Be exuberant and passionate about what you do and your life
People love those who exude vibrancy and passion about their life, particularly about what they do. Think of this: how stimulating do you find people who are forever talking about their big ideas and what they want to do and yet, never starting anything? Now that's a damper!

2. Be unique and individualistic in your views and opinions
Are you unique and stand out with your own style and personality? If you are afraid to voice your opinion, and would rather fit in, I can assure you that it will be difficult to command respect from others.  And without respect, no support. This doesn't mean that you have to constantly come up with new innovations. It simply implies that you don't suck up to people, just because you want validation. The best validation is to be true to yourself.

3. Be a great listener. All great listeners are magnetic and charismatic.
There is no charm that equals that of a good  listener. Here is an experience I had in a restaurant with my husband not too long ago. I noticed that my husband was fascinated by a woman sitting a few tables way from us.
When I asked him what got him so fascinated about her. He replied that the woman was just fascinating to watch, because she was listening so intently to her partner. Her eyes were on him, as she leaned forward, giving him her feedback, and at the same time not interrupting him. While she let him know that she was hearing him, she also held up her end of the conversation.
Then my husband said something remarkable: "She's the kind of woman I normally wouldn't pay attention to on the street, but while sitting there, listening and being interested the way she's now, makes her attractive." 

True listening embodies careful attention, patience and honestly wanting to understand what the other person is saying. It also fosters good relationship.

4.  Be a life long student. Let people know that you're willing to learn from them and be genuine about it.
Learning is growing, and growing is learning. You cannot learn all by yourself. To truly grow, you need others along the way. And when you show people your willingness and enthusiasm to learn from them, you'll be amazed how helpful and happy they will be to support you.
Be open and get to know people who are different from you. If you're interested in something, never be afraid to ask questions. You won't be ridiculed for showing real interest.

Do you know people who have stopped learning? Do you find them interesting to have around? Probably not! So do yourself the favour of becoming an avid learner.

5. Be authentic and reliable.
Before you make a promise, make sure you can deliver. Keeping your word is very crucial to building trust and credibility. There's nothing more detrimental to your image, than having people believing in you and letting them down. 
There are times you may genuinely try to fulfil your promise and it just doesn't work out. In that case, be honest about it and apologize. No one will hold that against you.

6. Be generous.
A generous heart gives freely without having any expectactions. Don't try to buy people's loyalty or support. It will backfire on you!  You will reap more benefit and reward from giving truly from your heart, rather than being calculating. Even if you don't get something in return, the eternal laws of reciprocity will find a way to balance things out for you and give you your dues.

7.  Be direct and have boundaries.
When you have something to say, just say it and let people know where you stand. Letting people know what you want and don't want, liberates you and those around you.  Don't allow people to walk all over you. Let them know your boundaries.
For instance, to avoid lying about a proposition which may not interest you, an appropriate answer could be: "I'm sorry that doesn't work for me right now". This is a straightforward and truthful answer making it easy for you and for others to move on.

In conclusion, do you trust and respect yourself? If you don't, no one else will. This especially means be true to yourself and what you believe in. It was Ralph Waldo Emerson who said "Whatever games are played with us, we must play no games with ourselves".